Part of becoming and officer's wife, they tell me, is learning all kinds of new courtesies and protocol. "They" have also told me that, as an officer in the Army, my husband will not have an option whether or no to participate. Wives, however are at the 'luxury' to participate or refrain at their personal preference. Another set of "they's" have also insinuated to me that although optional it may be, it is a definite consideration in the forwarding of one's husband's career.
Seriously.
This is NOT a game, this is not for fun. These ladies and I do mean ladies mean business. It's not about looking fussy or trying to out dress the next girl, it's about tradition, manners and the need for a social life.
And may I add...great shoes :)
And outside of being a British royal, when else would a fun feminine hat and pearls pass off here in the United States? They Kentucky Derby I suppose, and I am sure there are others, but really in comparison there isn't a big pool for these kinds of social situations around here.
Now for imagination and understanding's sake, think back a few years. It wasn't all THAT long ago that blogging, and face book, and really the cell phone and Internet all together were either just being born, or weren't even an idea yet.
REALLY.
It wasn't all that long ago.
This will date me, but when my husband and I first got married (1994), you were HOT stuff if you carried a pager. A cell phone was almost unheard of, and super expensive (not that they aren't now if you have a smart phone and data blah blah package). My mother in law had a car phone, which was really a big ol telephone in a a duffel bag. But I digress.
Put yourself in the place of a new wife (or in this case not so new wife) of a new officer in the Army before the communication age that we live in now. You would most likely have left home and friends and family far behind with only a few telephone calls, and letters and cards to fill in the gaps.
It was not exactly a setting for a young woman, or an older one for that matter, to settle in and be content in her new environ. Being lonley does NOT make for a happy new wife. Acquiring friends and becoming part of the social circle was (and I might add, IS) crucial to a person's well being, both mentally and some times it even helps temporally, today we would call it networking.
Having tea became a BIG deal,until all consideration for the tradition went out of whack. The habit of trying to look like Jacki O, in the sixties succumbed to the big hair and glitter and a general disdain for anything that required any kind of restraint, or refinement during the 19080's ( the words of the hostesses, not mine).
And, as a general rule, there is a generation or two that don't know the first thing about attending an actual formal event. So what used to be named the Officer's Wives Club, which is now called the DUSA ( Daughters of the United States Army), have started making an effort to educate the up and coming officer's wives so that when the invitation to tea arises (they say there are many who will only go to 4 during their husband's entire career), then the urge to decline out being unfamiliar with the rites and customs of tea won't be so strong.
I received three pages of protocol to go over when I got the invitation. I have to admit that I did RSVP a yes, but thought daily about canceling. I felt a little bit...old...and bull in a china shop-ish.
But I went. Why?
1. Because this would be the first and only tea in which explanation and tutoring would be involved. From here on out, if there is a tea, and I go then it will be expected that I understand the nuances and rites. BLERGH.
2. I told Linzi, and April and Savannah, and Marie I would. And the girl in me really REALLY wanted to be a pretty and fancy lady for a day.
3. I knew if I backed out of this, I would have a hard time going to all the other "optional" things that are in the future. I will never fit in this new life, if I don't jump in and start living it.
4. I really REALLY wanted to see Riverside.
The Ladies were wonderful, and the time went pretty quickly.
Wives of some of the most important leaders here on Fort Benning, Patti Brown is in the pink dress.
The woman to the right in the photo above, gave me all kinds of advice on finding a good seaside resort, golf course, and good dining for when we are in Savannah. She was THRILLED for me that we were going to be stationed at Fort Stewart. (I take that as a good thing, even if I don't golf etc.)
The woman in purple seated in the picture above was an original "Rosie the Riveter" during WWII, and was an honored guest.
I promise, I don't know what the lady is doing below, but I promise you she is NOT yelling. lol
When wearing gloves to an event, one would enter the reception area, and remove the glove that you use for shaking hands. Name tags must ALWAYS be on the right side as to make it easier for the person you are greeting to remind themselves of who you are without being obvious as they would be looking down your arm so to speak to grasp your hand.
Your glove would then be held in your left hand, as would your tea or coffee cup and saucer. If your drink punch, you will have a cup made of either glass, or silver and it would rest on a small napkin. If you choose water, then it would be served in a small water goblet of preferably crystal. The trick is, when it is time for those pretty little finger foods, if you are a water or punch drinker, then there is no saucer to rest your food on. You are then obliged to go to the table each time you wish a bite of this or that. Thus six bites equals six trips to the table, which may or may not make one feel a little piggish.
It becomes quite a balancing act as one balances, the glove situation, with your handbag, a beverage without without a saucer, possibly a spoon, and a napkin. Included in this tea was a programme, and a brochure which added to the need to be artful in moving and eating.
The brochure told about the history of the Riverside Plantation and how it became home of the Commander of Fort Benning. Currently MG Robert B. Brown and his wife, Patti live there, and she was a wonderful hostess.
Anyone that knows me knows I was all agog about the house and history. It was a real treat. I hear there is a home show in March that allows full access to all 6,118 square feet of it, as part of a fund raiser for DUSA. I hope I can go to that, alone or not.
Also Mrs. Brown had a collection of antique door knobs, and an old door in the corner.
I had to smile as my husband generally rolls his eyes every time we pack my little collection up to move but if it's good enough for a Generals wife, then what can he say then? (wink)
I really am glad I went, it might have been a once in a life time experience.
I think my Grandma Ball would have been absolutely thrilled to go to this event, and would have made herself quite a few new friends. I also thought of my Aunt Barb, and my Aunt Derra, who would have thought it some good fun also. I was terrified, but all together I think it was a good thing I went.
I am in both of these pictures, ha ha ha! Can you find me? (I am wearing a purple skirt and a grey top) Ya, that's NOT me signing in, I wish! But it is the group of girls I was with who are adorable young women. The girl in the purple dress reminded me of Rachelle and Darby Smith's daughters to an uncanny degree.
Tres' tres' strangeola.
